The Let's Get Reacquainted Syndrome
by Dalliann
Summary: When Elle reminisces about her past and family, X tricks her into attending an impromptu family reunion.
1. Chapter 1

****

Author's Note: Hey guys! It's been awhile since I've written anything but I finally got some time to get the first two chapters of this fic finished. Thanks to everyone who's left reviews for my other stories- I really appreciate your comments and input! I hope you all enjoy this! -Dalliann

****

The Let's Get Reacquainted Syndrome

Chapter 1

By Dalliann

Agent Elle sat down at one of the large computer consuls in the central communications room. She looked around for potential prying eyes and, finding no one who seemed particularly interested, logged on to the MIB Database Search Engine. A holo-map of the galaxy popped into life before her. 

Like she had done a hundred times in the last few weeks she went about reducing the program's possible finds. Earth, North America, United States, New York, Rochester, 234 S. Fitzgerald Court, George and Rose Weaver. 

The screen blinked for a moment but then began focusing the picture, each time coming in substantially closer until she could see the familiar treetops of Rochester. And under those trees a massive Victorian house sat center stage. Now the screen divided itself into two separate views. 

One peered into an open bathroom window where an elderly man was shaving his face and singing some tune that couldn't be heard through this camera positioned light-years away. The other pictured a woman, about the same age as her husband, who was standing in the middle of the lawn with a clipboard. She seemed frustrated, waving her arms in the air and shouting mute words at several men dressed in white catering outfits. 

"Who's the shrieking troglodyte?" 

Elle grit her teeth and turned in her chair. Her partner, Agent X, was watching the screen with smug distaste. "That 'troglodyte' is my mother. And she's not shrieking, she's... directing," she explained. 

"So that's where you inherited your temper. And I'm guessing the old guy in his pajamas is your father, right?" 

"He's not old. He's maturing. There's a difference." 

X smiled cynically and directed the cameras further into the backyard. A tall white tent was being set up near the house and the caterers were pulling tables in front of it. The yard sloped down a bit toward a pond where an old gazebo was being fitted with tufts of white flowers and yards of silk ribbon. 

"What are they doing?" he asked. Elle sighed and hit a button. The image instantly died and X looked at her questioningly. 

"My little sister is getting married today. It's a family tradition to have all the weddings in the gazebo. For luck, or something," she said. "And I can't go. I missed John's wedding, I missed Heather having her twins, I missed Gabe's graduation from Harvard, I missed Mark's inaugural dinner, and now I'm going to miss Willow's wedding, too." 

"You have five siblings?" he asked in disbelief. 

"Actually I have six but 'George' is now 'Georgianna'... We don't talk about him much." 

"Humans," X muttered, "They spread like bacteria... mutated bacteria." 

Elle put her hands on her hips and cocked her head to the side in a challenge. "Your people stop at one?" 

"It's the law. If we had as many brats as your kind produces we'd have to take out a loan on another planet. Our ecosystem couldn't handle an extra ten billion lives. Humans are just leading themselves into a black hole." 

Elle raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything. Instead, she turned and began walking to the lobby elevator. X followed with a long stride. 

"So where are we going?" he asked, pulling on the human mask he was less than fond of. 

She shrugged. "_I_ am going downtown for a chocolate binge. I don't know where you're going." 

"You know, if you're going to be so aloof we're never going to get to the point of toleration," X reminded her. 

"I can tolerate you." 

"Well, I guess I haven't reached that plateau 'cause you still bug the heck out of me. I'm driving," he said and dangled his set of car keys in front of her. She sighed loudly and followed him into the parking garage to their Blazer. 

*****

"...Willow is the kind of person who has everything planned out ten years in advance. When she was nine she designed her wedding gown. She even called up florists and pastry chefs and clergymen to see how much the whole thing would cost. That became her motivation when we had to go out into the working world. She only wanted a job that could pay for the ceremony she had planned. That's why she became an attorney. Lots of cash, there. Of course that was like fifteen years ago. It's all going to be a lot more expensive now. I wonder how much more it's costing her than she originally thought..." Elle looked at her partner. He was sitting wide-eyed, staring at her in shocked lethargy. 

"X? Are you okay?" she asked. 

He blinked for a moment and cleared his throat. "I have never seen someone talk for twenty minutes straight without taking a breath or swallowing. I think that must be some kind of record." 

She blushed lightly and focused on the piece of fudge-brownie cake in front of her. "Sorry. I just miss them," she said. They were sitting in the back of a new coffee house that had just opened. Each wall was painted with a different 'modern' color like "Gangrenous Green" or "Putrefying Purple". The tables were cut in odd shapes and the chairs were a challenge to climb into. 

Elle glanced at the other loungers. Most of them were college kids dressed in gothic black clothing, trying to pick up on the moodiness of the room for their latest inspired writing. The other customers varied from teens with blue hair to supposedly 'trendy' business executives. 

X took a drink of his coffee and shuddered. "I don't know how you people drink this poison. It tastes like wet dirt." 

"Then why do you keep ordering more?" 

"Zed says I don't blend well enough. He thinks I should participate in more human activities. Like drinking your disgusting beverages, taking an interest in your pointless sports programs, investing in your corrupted stockmarket-" 

"And listening to your over-emotional partner's problems?" Elle asked with a suspicious glance his way. 

X debated his answer carefully. "No. Although he'd probably say this counts as a blatantly human activity, I came here because I wanted to," he finally decided. 

Elle nodded skeptically. "Right. So what was I talking about, if you really were paying attention?" 

A look of irritation flickered over her partner's face but he took a deep breath and adjusted his tie. "Let's see. Your childhood in Rochester was a particularly dull story until your brother Gabe came back from military school and proceeded to torture you through junior high. And your sister Heather backed over your cat with her car when you were fourteen, which explains your over-protectiveness of Orion. Oh, and your medical schooling. Now that was riveting. Well, maybe the first _minute_ of it. And then you went off on Willow's compulsion to control her surrounding environment. In general, I think that was it. Funny, it took so much longer when you said it." 

Elle scowled and crossed her arms over her chest. "Well maybe I wouldn't have to talk so much if you actually contributed something to the conversation." 

"Like what?" 

"Like... if you hate the human race so much why did you accept the offer to leave your galaxy and work on Earth?" 

X grinned broadly. "Do you know what kind of power the MIB agency has? Here, I rule over humans." 

"That's your entire reason? Just because you have the say-so over another species?" she scoffed. 

"Like that's not the reason you're here. That's why you became a doctor. You liked the control you had over other peoples lives- the control over whether they lived or died." 

Elle's jaw dropped. "That is the most despicable thing I've ever heard you say. Could you possibly be any more morbid?" 

"No, that's your arena, I believe. That's the one thing I can't figure out, though. Why'd you take up the mortician's side of things? Did you find out you didn't have as much power over death as you once thought?" 

Elle pursed her lips and stood up. She took out two dollars from her purse and dropped it on the table. "We should get back to headquarters." 

"Now? We've got the day off and you want to go back to work?" 

"Seriously? I'm about to strangle you. I need to focus on something besides your arrogance and prejudices. Maybe Zed will have some kind of odd-job lined up..." 

X jumped up after his partner. She walked out of the cafe and toward their car parked on the curb. X was right behind her. "Elle, come on-" 

"Please, don't even talk to me. I'm armed and agitated, not a good combination. You should know that by now," she spat. She reached for the door handle but he stepped in between her and the car. 

"I'm not the reason you're angry," he told her. She cocked an eyebrow, just daring him to continue. He cleared his throat again and avoided her gaze. "Okay, so maybe I'm _partially_ the reason you're angry. But for the most part, you're just ticked off because I'm right. You gave up your family to be an intergalactic know-it-all and now you're rethinking your decision. Right?" 

Elle crossed her arms tightly and shrugged. "So, let's go," he said. 

"Back to headquarters?" 

"No. Rochester. Visit with your family for awhile. See if that's really what you want. If it is, you have a short run-in with a neuralizer and go back to your insipid life at the morgue. Simple." 

"Right, simple. Except one thing. MIB rules prohibit any and all contact with former acquaintances. Period. Just by _being_ in Rochester I could be terminated." 

"So we'll be careful." 

"No." 

"You're just dragging out this whole-" 

"No!" 

X sighed and walked around to the driver's side. "You're going to regret not going," he told her as they both got in. 

"Well, that's my problem to deal with, isn't it?" 

He sighed and started up the car. They pulled into traffic and drove down the street in silence. About three blocks away from MIB headquarters, he turned down a side street. Elle looked at him in confusion. 

"The building is back the other way," she said sternly. 

"Who's driving this thing, you or me?" 

"Well, seeing as you have no idea where we work I think I should be at the wheel." 

"We're not going to the agency. We're going to Rochester." 

"What? What did I tell you? I CAN'T GO THERE!" she yelled. 

"_You_ can't interact with anyone from your past. I, on the other hand, have never met any of them. I'm only doing what Zed told me to do. You know, getting in touch with my human side." 

Elle scowled at him. "Pull over," she demanded. 

"Or what?" 

She blinked for a moment. _Or what?_ "Or... or I'll..." she trailed off. X gave her a cocky grin. _Okay, that's it,_ she thought angrily. Her hand disappeared into her jacket and came back out with a Carbonizer. She powered it up and leveled it at his ear. "Or this." 

X glanced at the gun. Unimpressed. "You're going to shoot me? I'm sure that'll be real easy to explain to Zed. Yeah, right. Besides, if you do we'll crash. Just sit back and enjoy the ride." 

Elle stared at him. _Well I'm not taking the blame for this. If anything I'm a captive. I'm being held hostage. It's not like I can just jump out. Maybe this little stunt will be enough to send him back to the Jee'Dang galaxy._ She put on her seatbelt as X reached for the red button on the clutch. 

"How far away is Rochester?" 

"About 300, maybe 350 miles." 

"Good. We'll be there in forty-five minutes." 


	2. Chapter 2

****

The Let's Get Reacquainted Syndrome

Chapter 2

****

By Dalliann

X pulled up to the curb at 234 South Fitzgerald Court and looked up at the house he had seen earlier that morning on the holo-screen. It was several stories tall, with a light blue, shingled facade and white shutters at the sides of every window. The long, curving driveway was packed with vehicles and more were pulling up behind the SUV. He glanced at Elle who was crouched down low in her seat. 

"We're heeeere!" X projected. He grabbed her hand and tried to pull her up but she yanked it back, presenting him with an angry stare. 

"You want me to get fired, don't you?" 

X shrugged. "Some days more than others. Come on, Zed won't find out because there won't _be_ anything to find out." 

"I'm staying right here," Elle told him crossly as she folded her arms and hunched back down. 

"Suit yourself. I'm going to check out the buffet table they were setting up this morning." He jumped out of the car and left Elle sitting alone. She stared at him disbelievingly as he made his way across the grass and disappeared into the backyard. She shook her head. _X can get himself out of this one. I'm not jeopardizing my position- I've worked too long and hard to get this far and he is not ruining it for me._

She had resolved to stay glued to the seat but after fifteen minutes of confinement, paranoia was starting to set in. _What if he talks to my mother? Or my father? What if he lets the whole thing spill and people start leaving before he can neuralize them and Zed blames the leak on me because I should have known better than to let that cowboy go ANYWHERE by himself?!_

She grimaced as she carefully unbuckled her seatbelt and opened the door. She stood behind it for a moment, like a protective barricade, and contemplated a plan of action. _Okay, just rush in there and find X. If he refuses to come along quietly, hit him in the head with a blunt object, drag him to the car, and speed back to New York. No problem. Yeah right._

She closed the door and hurried up the lawn. She edged around the corners of the house and peaked over the back yard gate. Roughly two hundred people were milling around the yard; some admired the garden, others inspected the buffet table, many sat on the gazebo steps swatting at mosquitos. The largest crowd was at the reception stage, where the most daring (or the most sloshed) members of the party were singing karaoke. 

On tiptoes, she strained to see more clearly over the fence, trying to find her partner in the confusion. A familiar head of wild, auburn hair caught her attention. She watched as the figure walked around the scene, finally exiting to the kitchen. Elle sighed and carefully nudged the gate open, hoping it hadn't developed a tell-all squeak since she had been here last. It swung open, noiseless, and she hurried to the kitchen, dodging behind caterers and ushers when possible. 

She dashed up the cobblestone steps and slivered open the door. She squinted an eye, peering through the tiny crack to make sure no one else was inside. Finding the room empty she entered and bolted the door behind her. 

The last thing she needed was an untimely visitor. 

"X?" she hissed. She ducked her head into the pantry, not really expecting to find him there, and made her way to the dining room. She reached out to tug on the rolling door but it was suddenly flung open before her hand had even grasped the handle. 

White haired and pale skinned, the woman who stood on the other side of the entryway seemed to grow even chalkier as she recognized the young agent. Elle gulped down the panic that was quickly taking over and tried to smile. 

"Laurel? Sweetheart?" Mrs. Weaver gasped, bringing a quivering hand to her lips. Elle shrugged and smiled nervously. 

"Hi Mom," she said with a small wave. "Long time, huh?" Mrs. Weaver's eyes grew round and white as she fell back on the checkered linoleum. "Mom?" Elle knelt down beside her mother and struggled to pull her up from the floor. 

"We've been here less than twenty minutes and you've already killed someone. This may be a little harder to cover up than our original plan," X said blandly as he came into the dining room. Elle looked up and frowned. 

"She fainted. Would you help me get her to the sofa?" X grimaced but bent down and hoisted the woman over his shoulder. Elle guided him into the living room. 

"Why did you come in here in the first place?" she asked him as he gently placed her mother against an uncomfortable looking couch. 

He smiled and pointed to the photos above the fireplace. "Wanted to see if human mothers take joy in displaying embarrassing pictures of their offspring the same way Jee'Dangian mothers do. What are those weird silver things on your teeth in the one on the right?" 

Elle scowled at him and turned each of her school pictures towards the wall. "They're called braces- and if you ever mention them to Jay..." 

On the divan, Mrs. Weaver moved slightly. Elle sighed and squeazed her eyes shut. "We have to leave- right now. Hopefully, she'll wake up and think it was just a dream, caused by the stress of putting the wedding together or something." 

"So you're going to leave her here? With a possible concussion?" 

"She doesn't have a concussion! And even if she does, my dad's a brain surgeon. That would sort of fall under his field of expertise, right?" 

"Speaking of Dad, that's him, isn't it?" X asked, the amusement in his voice rich. 

Elle spun around to see the disbelieving face of her father, clutching the stair railing for support. "Laurie?" his voice creaked uncertainly. 

"Hi, Daddy." 

With even less warning than Mrs. Weaver had given, Mr. Weaver fell back and landed with a hollow thud on the carpet. 

"Does narcolepsy run in your family or something? I've never seen so many people faint at the word 'hi.' And you know those landings can't be good for them- not at this age." 

"Will you shut up and help me get him off the floor?" 

X narrowed his eyes at her unpleasantly and helped pull the elderly man into a recliner. "So now you have two concussion victims and no brain surgeon to treat them. I think we better stay. At least until they wake up." 

"You'd just love that. First humiliate me in front of my friends and family and then neuralize me right out of my job."

"Sounds like fun to me." 

"You are such a creep." 

"And you're too uptight. I haven't even met Gabe, yet, and already I like him more than you. In fact, I think I'll go find him and introduce myself." 

"If you set one foot in that yard I _will_ shoot you." 

"With what? The only weapons we're packing in the SUV right now are carbonizers. As I'm sure you recall, they make a quite a mess. How would you go about explaining the slushy, green mass all over the yard to the guests? And you'd definitely have to call a clean-up crew. But if you did that, Zed would know where you've been all day." 

Elle's face darkened with anger as X winked at her and entered the kitchen. He unlocked the door, waved, and strode out to mingle with the other guests. 

"Fine!" Elle shouted, although she doubted anyone outside could hear her. "If that's the way he wants to play it, let him find his own ride back to New York," she grumbled and headed for the front door. She refused to even glance at her parents as she passed them; that part of her life no longer existed. She pulled the door open roughly and, finding the entrance blocked by a tower of finely wrapped gifts, stepped back in surprise. 

"Would you mind carrying a few?" a female voice asked from behind the stacked boxes. Before Elle could reply, several packages were pushed into her hands and she was motioned back into the living room. 

The woman looked back over her shoulder in irritation and yelled out the door, "John! Will you get off that cellphone and help me!" 

Elle's eyes grew wide. _John?_ She shook her head in frustration and looked for a place to set the gifts. John was a common name. There were probably twenty Johns in the backyard. The probability that this woman's husband was her brother was slim. 

The woman, still perched in the doorway with her massive packages, glared at her escort. "Why'd I ever marry a lawyer? Phone glued to his ear and pen tied to his hand. At least doctors take their wives on vacations, ocassionally," she muttered. 

Elle tensed at her words. _Lawyer?_ Panicky, she didn't even waste time trying to rationalize that there were bound to be some lawyers at this wedding, and some of them might even be named John. She dropped the presents carelessly on the hallway boot chest and rushed through the living room to the kitchen. But just as she reached the swinging door it was suddenly thrown open, Agent X's hand on the latch. 

"There you are!" she breathed in belief. She reached out to push him into the kitchen but he turned slightly and glanced over his shoulder. 

"She's in the living room!" he shouted. Elle's jaw dropped. She grabbed one of his ears and pulled him towards her roughly. 

"What do you think you're doing?" she hissed. 

"Putting together a spur-of-the-moment family reunion. Your Nanna is quite the character," he said, his calm smile on the verge of driving her to violent insanity. 

Before she could make up her mind whether to slap him or kick him, the woman from the hallway came huffing into the room. "There was crystal in those boxes! You can't just drop them any which way you please!" she berated. 

"Get her driver's license I.D. and her social security number, Katherine," John instructed his wife as he joined her in the living room. He was just tucking his phone into his waist band when he caught sight of Elle. He squinted for a moment and pointed at her questioningly. "Laurel?" 

"Don't say 'hi' this time," X told her, "We're running out of furniture to lay them on." 

Elle opened her mouth to speak but wasn't sure what to say; apparently, neither was John. They stood facing each other, each opening and closing their mouths as various bits of dialougue came and left their minds in seconds. After a moment, John's eyes flitted to something behind her and he seemed to regain his sense of speech. 

"It's Laurel. You guys, it's Laurel!" he shouted happily. 

Elle spun around to find the rest of her family- her brothers, sisters, and grandmother- crowded in at X's shoulder and all staring at her with expressions of joyful disbelief. 

X grinned at her, thoroughly enjoying himself. "I believe this is the part where it starts to get interesting." 


End file.
